Pain Of Coping With Suicide PHILADELPHIA (CBS 3) ― As we continue to examine the teen suicides this week, Eyewitness News Anchor Pat Ciarrocchi learned, that a family that suffers a suicide -- no matter how long ago -- is never, really the same again.
"Everything turns black in an instant. It's almost like a tornado just ripped through our family."
Even after 45 years, Carl David can trace the scar left by his brother's suicide.
"It's like yesterday," David said. It's the kind of pain that reawakens with even the slightest trigger."
For David, a third generation art dealer on South 18th Street near Rittenhouse Square, the trigger came last week with news reports of Gina Gentile, Vanessa Dorwart, their suicide pact and a high speed Acela train. He said, when you hear about this with other people, you feel terrible because you lived it.
Carl was just 16 when his 22-year-old brother, Bruce, an Army reservist, learned his unit was to ship out to Vietnam.
"My brother was a happy-go-lucky great guy. But with the media showing guys coming back in body bags, the wrath of war, he started to freak out ... and one night he didn't come home."
Bruce had climbed three flights of narrow, winding stairs to a story room inside the family art gallery. That's where his father found his oldest son suspended from the rafters.
"No note, no signs, no hint of anything except this fear of the war."
A pain so unforgiving that Carl's father couldn't go back into the gallery for a long time. He died eight years after his son's death.
Carl David writes about his family's journey about surviving suicide in a book he titled, "Bader Field." That's the airfield outside of Atlantic City where Carl last saw his father alive.
"The suicide is always there," Carl says. "It's part of your psyche. It becomes an integral imprint in your soul. It was so intense, the blackness was ever so pervasive that you just wandered if you ever would get out of it."
And that's the message this survivor of suicide wants troubled young people -- contemplating taking their lives -to hear.
"Just don't do it. If you need help it's out there. It doesn't just affect you. You don't die alone. Don't take your life because you take your family with you."
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Page Readers talks with Carl David, author of "Bader Field" Page Readers Call-in Number: (347) 826-9584 Upcoming Show: 1/21/2010 12:00 PM var addthis_pub = 'blogtalkradio'; |
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Carl David is interviewed by Joe Carroccio on his Radio Show, "The Law Of Distraction and Interruption" about his latest book, Bader Field. I lived through the suicide of my brother when I was a teenager. I bring to the table a non-clinical viewpoint of the horror that such a violent final act leaves on the surviving family members. My credentials lie in the fact that I am a veteran of an event so horrific that its imprint became part of my psyche. It forever remains with me as a badge of pain; a wound which heals but so far and then rips open with even a subtle reminder. One never gets over it but rather only learns to live with it. "Bader Field" (Nightengale Press, 2008), my latest book, began as homage to my father, my hero, Samuel David, the legendary art dealer whose life was cut short by a major coronary at the young age of 58. As the book developed, a greater purpose emerged. The fabric of our family was woven with the tragic loss of one of my older brothers to suicide. Bruce, at the tender age of twenty-two took his own life leaving behind a trail of horror and devastation. No note, no clues, completely shocking our idyllic 1960's American family with a permanently unresolved question as to why. Although the reason matters not, for it wouldn't bring him back, it would perhaps have offered some insight and understanding, albeit little comprehension or solace. I recognized my need to open a wide reaching dialogue, showing the realistic nightmare of suicide, having lived through it. As a survivor, I am on a dedicated mission to lift the veil of shame that protects this violent act and lets it thrive. Suicide is a leading killer of children and it needs to be stopped. Pre-teens, teens and young adults who are most vulnerable, need to know that if they are on that last edge of desperation, that there is help for them. They are not alone, there is love and light and always a better way. They do not come back. Taking one's life is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. The wake of pain and suffering that it leaves upon family members and friends is something that needs to be seen and understood for perhaps that in itself might be a life saving measure. Please visit my website for a more comprehensive overview of the book and its bigger purpose.
This is my way of paying it forward. I am on a quest to reach out and make a difference, taking the darkest days of my life and turning them into a path of light with the hope of saving lives....even one.......
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The Bigger Purpose with guest host Carl David Carl David Show Description:
"The Bigger Purpose"
Bader Field, Carl's latest book, began as homage to his father, Samuel David, the legendary art dealer whose life was cut short by a major coronary at the young age of 58. As the book developed, a greater purpose emerged. The fabric of the David family was woven with the tragic loss of one of their sons to suicide. Bruce, at the tender age of twenty-two took his own life leaving behind a trail of horror and devastation. No note, no clues, completely shocking his family with a permanently unresolved question as to why. Although the reason matters not, for it wouldn't bring him back, it would perhaps have offered some insight and understanding, albeit little comprehension or solace.
Carl recognized his need to open a wide reaching dialogue, showing the realistic nightmare of suicide, having lived through it. As a survivor, he is on a dedicated mission to lift the veil of shame that protects this violent act and lets it thrive. Suicide is a leading killer of children and it needs to be stopped. Pre-teens, teens and young adults who are most vulnerable, need to know that if they are on that last edge of desperation, that there is help for them. They are not alone, there is love and light and always a better way. Taking one's life is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. The wake of pain and suffering that it leaves upon family members and friends is something that needs to be seen and understood for perhaps that in itself might be a life saving measure.
This is Carl's way of paying it forward. He is on a quest to reach out and make a difference, taking the darkest days of his own life and turning them into a path of light with the hope of saving lives....even one........
www.carledavid.com http://www.carledavid.com Guest Bio:
Carl David is the third generation of a four-generation family art business in Philadelphia. He is the author of Collecting & Care of Fine Art published by Crown in 1981. His article about Martha Walter, an American impressionist painter (1875-1976) was published in the American Art Review in May 1978. |
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